Things I Wish They Would Study: the Hunger Pains of the Nursing

When I was pregnant and reading all about the how-to's, ups and downs, and potential trials of breastfeeding, I remember coming across the detail of how thirsty breastfeeding women are and how much water they should be drinking. The statistic that breastfeeding women burn an extra 1000 calories a day is touted all over the place (this stat always makes me wonder why breastfeeding rates aren't higher. An extra 1000 calories a day! Why do women wean babies so early when there are such metabolic rewards? I like to eat so this baffles me.), but I read very little, if anything, about the all consuming hunger that comes with nursing a baby. No one mentioned it. It is the hunger of teenage boys. Tall ones who play lots of sports. I have actually met a couple of teenage boys since breastfeeding my son. And I have eaten them all under the table.
The books I read said to eat well, of course, and I do (generally). I am constantly surprised - still with my son nine months old - by the hunger and by how much I eat. When my son was first born I was even more hungry than I am now, in fact, I could not feel full. I was embarrassed by how hungry I was. When my husband and I had a friend over to dinner in the first month of being parents, I offered her dessert. She declined with the universal gesture of her hand held up to signal she was stuffed. "No, no, no," she said. "I couldn't possibly eat another bite of anything." I distinctly remember thinking, "Really? Because I could go again." I felt as if I hadn't eaten anything - and I had had seconds! I had wanted to help myself to more, but I was so self-conscious, even embarrassed, by how much food I needed to eat.
I am not as hungry as I was that first month of mothering, but I am still hungry and I do still eat a lot. If my husband and I are going to dinner at a friends' house or restaurant, I always eat before leaving the house. Partly, I do out of self-preservation. Along with the metabolic miracles of breastfeeding comes a blood sugar that drops to zero without notice. I can go from satiated to starving in a millisecond. And it is that kind of starving that makes me, and anybody with me, miserable. When the dropped blood sugar hits, having to wait for food is pure agony and I, in moments like this, have grown so desperate for food, I have threatened to drink my own breastmilk. And I wasn't really kidding.
Non-breastfeeders don't quite get it though - I can tell my husband I am hungry and need to eat, and he'll say, "Okay, we'll pick something up." which in my pre-breastfeeding days would be the ideal response. But now, I have to emphasize a couple or few times, that when I need to eat, I need to eat. Fellow breastfeeders, therefore, make the best travel and/or hang out companions. When I meet my breastfeeding Mom friends, whether we're at the art museum or going for a hike, one of the first things we do is eat. Today, a couple friends and I went to the Mommy & Me movie, and when we came out of the theater, all three of us simultaneously exhaled, "Oh, I am so hungry." If you're in a group of breastfeeding women, one of them has a protein bar in her purse. If it wasn't for fellow breastfeeding friends, I would think something is wrong with me. Generally, thinking about food most the time, and eating on your way out the door for dinner are the signs of a potential eating disorder. With breastfeeding though, it's just par for the course.