Does it have to be so hostile?

PBS recently ran a Frontline episode on vaccines, called "The Vaccine War." This is the kind of thing that drives me crazy - as if there aren't enough antagonizing issues out there especially in realm of parenting. I hate the word "war" and that it gets used in this kind of context, as if to suggest there is not room for all views or that the answer lies in one side trumping the other. Dr. Jay Gordon says as much in his response, "PBS, Shame on You." Dr. Gordon's view on vaccines is my favorite take on an usually positional and polarizing issue. He asks a lot of good questions about vaccines and the current vaccination schedule. He also finds value in both sides. Mostly, in the vaccine debate, it's the positional attitude each side takes that I hate. Even if I agree with one side or the other, I hate the attitude that one side is right while the other completely wrong.

Generally, in parenting, I think different things work for different families, and there is not a "one-size-fits-all" approach. In terms of vaccines, for us it came down to a series of choices we were making. If I wasn't going to breastfeed, or if our baby was going into a large daycare at six weeks old, then we would have made very different choices.

Mostly, it came down to our (really, my) gut feeling and I do agree with Dr. Gordon: all the shots that a 3 month old gets on the current schedule make me squemish. It seems like an awful lot of chemicals to be injecting into such a small body. Also, for me, there are still too many unknown questions about vaccines. Even if the research shows vaccines are not responsible for the increase in Autism, we cannot deny that there is a rise in Autism; it must be linked to something - if not, vaccines, then what?

The squemish feeling also comes as much from the big business side of vaccines (i.e. that the people researching them happen to be or related to the companies making and selling them) as the fear-based knee jerk reaction that dictate everyone needs them. Last year's Swine flu debacle may serve as an example of the fear that circulates around illnesses and their vaccines.

So we put them off. We put off all his shots. Then we traveled.

It is our traveling that has people ask our take on vaccines. I did do a lot of research before our child was born and before we traveled. Before all my research, I knew that I was not worried about my child contracting polio. After all my research and confirming that we are not going to any of the remote villages in the four remaining countries where polio still exists, I still am not worried about my child contracting polio. Also, we continue to do research as we travel. We always check the WHO website before going to a new place. It's never a fully resolved issue - but what is in parenting? The sting of parenting does mean that you always question if you made the right choice even as you know you made the right choice with the information you had at that moment.

Our doctor in Singapore (Singapore does heavily vaccinate no questions asked) was rare in that she respected our views and even, quietly, agreed with them. She said, usually Singapore pediatricians would give us a hard time and if we stayed in Singapore, our son would have to get his shots to go to school. But she also said, regardless of where we go, he's fine without them. And, at 18 months, our son is still breastfed, and we ensure that his diet is nutritious and unprocessed to keep his immune system strong. Again, it's a series of choices...