Self-Love in New Mommyland

In today's New Moms' group, the topic was self-love. At first, the idea of self-love was a little hard for a few of us to wrap our heads around since most the time these days, there's a baby attached to the breast of ourselves and the line distinguishing us from baby can at times get a little blurry. So it took a little bit to get down to how self-love looks or how we express it post baby arrival. Finally, it hit me, that since I became a mom, a good haircut is imperative - and having my hair washed before my haircut is luxurious. A hot bath after everyone else in the house is asleep has always been a key component in my recipe for self-rejuvenation, but since I became a mom, showers are now equally important. And before I was a mom, those bottles of Whole Foods brand shampoo and conditioner for just a few dollars did the trick - I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it (however, the scents and quality of bubble bathes and bath salts were very worth putting some thought into), yet now, good quality shampoo, conditioner and shower gel are as imperative as good quality bubble bath. I mean, those ten minutes in the shower take on a meditative self-nurturing quality. Showers are no longer just about getting clean.
Other things that were important before mommyhood that become much more important in mommyhood: flowers in the house, morning coffee (and it better be good morning coffee), earrings, pajamas you love to be in, my journal, and make-up.
Probably the most important expression of self-love in new mommyhood? Compassion for our new mommyself we decided. Not beating ourselves up for not getting the dishwasher unloaded. Cutting ourselves some slack and trusting our instincts - sometimes you have to put those parenting books down (you can get too much in your head with too much theory).
And it turns out the cool thing about self-love in new mommyhood is that how we take care of ourselves is what teaches our babies how to take care of themselves - that it's okay to have time to yourself and sometimes having time to yourself means somebody else isn't going to get what they want - and that's okay too.
So with that in mind, this new mommy noticed that baby needed a bath - but we let daddy have his bath to himself first so he could relax and decompress after his day (and with this current rainstorm we're having in LA, it really is nice to sit in the tub and listen to the nighttime rain) then I added baby. It's good to pass the self-love along.